8 Ways to Exasperate Your Kids

This morning I was cleaning out some old file folders and found a folder marked "Parenting Tips" with some notes I jotted down. I honestly don't remember the source of these notes but I'm thinking it may have been a radio interview I heard or something like that. Anyway, I thought they were important enough to write down then and rediscovering them again today I think they might be worth sharing with other Dads (and Moms) out there.

Ephesians 6:4 encourages us with this: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Another translation says, "do not provoke your children to anger". Seems like a no brainer doesn't it ? And yet I know in my parenting career I've been guilty of doing just that. I think that's why I took the time to take these notes when I heard that radio interview. I hope thse will be an encouragement to you too.

8 Ways to Exasperate Your Kids:

1. Failing to allow them to be what they are.
2. Treating them with harshness or cruelty.
3. Ridiculing them in front of others. Especially in front of their peers. (Even when disguised as teasing or jesting.)
4. Displaying favoritism and making unhealthy or unproductive comparisons.
5. Failing to express our approval, even at seemingly small accomplishments.
6. Being arbitrary in the exercise of discipline, so they don't know where they stand.
7. Neglecting and making them feel like an intrusion in your life.
8. Seeking to make them achieve our goals and aspirations.

I'm sure, like me, as you read these bullet points you'll begin unpacking each one and considering how they may relate to your parenting style and relationship with your children. Someone once told me "we tend to parent the way we were parented". I think that's true for the most part. What's also true is that our parents were not perfect, in fact some may have been down right bad at it. So it makes sense for us to look out for those things that may creep into our parenting style that we may not even be aware of until it's too late and some damage is done. These eight points have been good ones for me to keep in mind as I've been trying to be a good Dad to my kids. Keep up the good work... and remember, you're a better parent than you think you are.

A Gift for Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to you. I wanted to share this gift with my friends a song for Valentine's Day. Here's a FREE Download of my version of James Taylor's tune Shower the People. 
There's a bit of a story that goes along with the recording of this tune. It's the story about the night God came and added His parts to this tune. This particular night I had planned to record my vocals. As I was singing the very soft opening lines a big thunder storm rolled in and the sound of thunder was coming through the mic onto the vocal takes. At first I was bummed thinking I would have to scratch the take and wait till the storm passed to record a new one. But then as I was listening back to the take with the thunder rolling through the background it hit me... this is perfect! Thunder and rain showers in the background of a song called Shower the People... Brilliant! I actually set a couple mics up outside under the porch and recorded a stereo track of the thunder and rain showers that night and added them in with this tune. You'll hear the thunder especially in the intro and at the very end thunder with the rain showers falling.

I think it came out great and I can honestly say it's not something I thought of on my own... my "Producer" gets all the credit. Well I hope you enjoy the song and please feel free to share it with the ones you love.
Blessings
Chip

Shadows of The Empty Nest

Siesta Key Beach voted one of the top beaches in the USA

My wife Mary Beth and I just returned late last night from a week at my parents home in Sarasota Florida. It was a the first time we've taken a weeks vacation without any of our kids along! It was something we really hadn't thought about until we were leaving. We've taken trips together before just the two of us... mostly work related trips. But this was the first real vacation kind of trip without the kids and it was a little odd at first but mostly really nice. Not because our kids are hard to be with in fact my children are some of my favorite people to hang out with. I think what made this so nice was the fact that we could focus on each other with nothing and no one else requiring our attention.
It occurred to me one day as we were cruising in my Mom's little VW  Cabrio convertable, that I was getting a glimpse of what the Empty Nest might be like... and I liked it! Granted we were in an breathtaking beautiful place with nothing on the agenda but sleeping, reading, eating and hanging out at Siesta Key Beach for seven days. What's not to like! But all of that aside  this time together just reminded me how blessed I am to have fallen in love and married a girl who is my best friend. Our years together have been so rich and full and our kids have been a big part of that. But I can honestly say that getting a glimpse of these shadows of what's to come makes me smile.