This morning I was cleaning out some old file folders and found a folder marked "Parenting Tips" with some notes I jotted down. I honestly don't remember the source of these notes but I'm thinking it may have been a radio interview I heard or something like that. Anyway, I thought they were important enough to write down then and rediscovering them again today I think they might be worth sharing with other Dads (and Moms) out there.
Ephesians 6:4 encourages us with this: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Another translation says, "do not provoke your children to anger". Seems like a no brainer doesn't it ? And yet I know in my parenting career I've been guilty of doing just that. I think that's why I took the time to take these notes when I heard that radio interview. I hope thse will be an encouragement to you too.
8 Ways to Exasperate Your Kids:
- Failing to allow them to be what they are.
- Treating them with harshness or cruelty.
- Ridiculing them in front of others. Especially in front of their peers. (Even when disguised as teasing or jesting.)
- Displaying favoritism and making unhealthy or unproductive comparisons.
- Failing to express our approval, even at seemingly small accomplishments.
- Being arbitrary in the exercise of discipline, so they don't know where they stand.
- Neglecting and making them feel like an intrusion in your life.
- Seeking to make them achieve our goals and aspirations.
I'm sure, like me, as you read these bullet points you'll begin unpacking each one and considering how they may relate to your parenting style and relationship with your children. Someone once told me "we tend to parent the way we were parented". I think that's true for the most part. What's also true is that our parents were not perfect, in fact some may have been down right bad at it. So it makes sense for us to look out for those things that may creep into our parenting style that we may not even be aware of until it's too late and some damage is done. These eight points have been good ones for me to keep in mind as I've been trying to be a good Dad to my kids. Keep up the good work... and remember, you're a better parent than you think you are.
